The state of this absolute fucking shower.
Piss ups and breweries. Cow's arses and banjos. The parliamentary Labour party has had 9 fucking months to organise this coup, to come up with a candidate who can bring together the soft left, the centrists and the right, to draw up some sort of plan as to how they would do things differently and make clear how they have learned the lessons that led to Jeremy Corbyn winning the leadership in the first place. They have not achieved a single one of these aims. Indeed, it's almost as if they haven't wanted to engage with why they lost the leadership election, as that was the reality rather than Corbyn winning it. They have learned nothing and forgotten nothing. They're so fucking useless, so catastrophically inept that we need a new metaphor to properly describe how bereft of even the slightest wit and forethought they've been. They couldn't overthrow the government of Thailand or Pakistan, that's how hopeless these non-revolutionary cretins are.
But before we really drill down into how Labour as a whole seems to have opted not so much for the Dignitas method of assisted dying but more the Wile E Coyote variation, we should confront another anomaly of the post-Friday spirit. You might have thought the individual principally responsible for this disaster, i.e. the Right Honourable David Cameron Esq, might have been getting the bum's rush for plunging the country into various crises all thanks to his brazen irresponsibility. Perhaps I've missed it being away, but the knives haven't exactly been out for him, have they? Much anger has been directed at practically everyone else with some level of responsibility, whether it be Leave voters themselves, Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Nigel Farage et al, and yet the man who had three aims in calling the referendum, all of which were short-term political goals meant to help him and his party rather than help the country, has barely been touched.
If anything, there's almost been a sense of aww, well at least he tried, and we're going to miss him once we're lumped with Boris, May or whichever other Tory shitpipe it is that manages to rise to the top of the greasy pole. Admittedly, there was always going to be a certain amount of such sentiment: it's true that Cameron is preferable to almost all of the above, in the same sense that it's preferable to get your finger caught in a mousetrap than have your hand cut to ribbons by a threshing machine. This said, when Cameron is given such soft soap treatment by journalists asking him if "he's wistful" while in Brussels meeting the rest of the EU leaders, or applauded for being such a class act that he can still misquote Smiths lyrics in the Commons despite having resigned, you wonder precisely what else he would have needed to do to make them change their tune. Nuked Norway perhaps? Banged an inflatable doll in Downing Street after giving his resignation statement? Insulted Beyonce?
That Cameron did very far from all he could seems to have been forgotten very quickly. Let's remember how he refused once again to go up against his opponents in straight debate, just as he did in the general election. This time the excuse was he wanted to minimise blue-on-blue attacks, only by the end he was denouncing Michael Gove for being an ignorant moron regardless. It might well have not changed anything, but if he had debated Johnson or Farage face to face, calling them on their nonsense and their claims that fell apart with minutes, it could just have persuaded a few more people to go Remain. He had nothing to lose and everything to gain by the end, so why didn't he go all out?
The answer is fairly obvious: the Tories, like the boomers who won it for Leave, have very little to lose from exiting the EU. We expected from the apparent mutual loathing on display and all the in-fighting that the Tories would find it difficult to put themselves back together, and yet it's almost as though nothing has happened. The Tory Leave supporters are delighted, while the few Remainers angered at first seem to have piped down remarkably quickly. Sure, there are those like George Osborne who have seen their own ambitions crumble into dust thanks to the vote, but no one seems much bothered or willing to engage in recriminations. Amber Rudd, after saying during the campaign she wouldn't trust Johnson to drive her home is now apparently being lined up as one of his key supporters. Rather than being asked if he regretted the Leave vote, this morning Stephen Crabb was instead questioned on if he regretted plumping for Remain. They have nothing to fear in terms of Leavers turning on them, or so they figure, not least as the difference between UKIP and the right-wingers poised to seize control of the party is imperceptibly slight. Where else are those Leave voters going to go? Labour?
Nor is there much in the way of criticism for how Cameron, while supposedly taking responsibility has also abdicated it. Asked at PMQs if he could assuage the fears of EU migrants that they are going to be asked to leave, as they are most assuredly not, he instead prevaricated and said this was yet another thing his successor will decide on. A simple no would have made it clear that regardless of what passive aggressives and racists are throwing at anyone they don't like the look of, they aren't going anywhere. Why migrants would want to stay when a majority have made it clear they are not welcome is anyone's guess, mind.
What we have found ourselves in is a total power vacuum. Cameron has effectively gone into permanent chillax mode, as why should he do the "hard shit"? Johnson or whoever it turns out to be can do it. Just how hard it is going to be has been made clear by the 27 other countries: no negotiations until Article 50 is triggered, and even then any deal involving access to the single market will mean the UK needing to accept the "four freedoms", including movement. Welcome to the worst of all worlds warned of: outside Europe with no influence and no control, those imagining the migrants would be sent back feeling betrayed and even angrier than before. The alternative? Certain economic decline, with financial services likely to leave.
And what predictably is about the only policy change being offered by Labour MPs in their otherwise completely lacking thinkpieces on where we go now? Curbs on free movement, for the people have spoken. Bit of a shame then that maybe, just maybe, a narrow remain vote might have prompted the EU into offering some sort of compromise. That's now gone, just as Cameron's renegotiation is null and void.
Clowns. Cowards. Fuckwits. About the only people who have come out of the last three days of no plan plotting well are Ed Miliband and Gordon Brown, with Brown also about the only person to have put any real thought into where the party goes from here. What boils the piss most is those whom never gave Corbyn a chance, who kept up a constant line in hostility from the beginning, the Chris Leslies, the John Woodcocks, the John Manns etc, with not a single one having the guts to put themselves forward. Absolutely nothing has been off limits in their attempts to get rid of Corbyn, whether it be accusations of racism, being a pal of terrorists, claiming he didn't even try winning a referendum on something he was always sceptical of in the first place, and all while claiming to be the real victims of this clusterfuck.
So they've finally succeeded in making his leadership untenable. And yet what's the alternative? Angela Eagle? To give her credit, she was one of the very few who really did try to make it work. She was my second choice for deputy leader, and I think she would be a far better one than Tom Watson. But actual leader? A fine performer in the Commons she may be, but can anyone seriously claim she's more likely to win a snap general election than Corbyn? Are her politics more attractive to Labour voters who went Leave than Corbyn's? Can she stick a party that has been torn asunder back together? Can she really win against Corbyn when it's clear despite the claims of the plotters that the membership does still support Jeremy?
This is what the Labour party has been reduced to. Not by Corbyn, but a bunch of selfish, beyond all reasoning with fuckwads without an ounce of sense between them and yet convinced they know best. They have barely a single answer to questions they have had months to prepare for, and yet they are certain if only they get a "sensible" leader much will be right again with the world. When you can't even plan a coup against the apparent worst Labour leader of all time, what on earth makes them think anyone will trust them with running a country? For this to be a confederacy of dunces we'd need a genius. We've got Hillary fucking Benn.
But before we really drill down into how Labour as a whole seems to have opted not so much for the Dignitas method of assisted dying but more the Wile E Coyote variation, we should confront another anomaly of the post-Friday spirit. You might have thought the individual principally responsible for this disaster, i.e. the Right Honourable David Cameron Esq, might have been getting the bum's rush for plunging the country into various crises all thanks to his brazen irresponsibility. Perhaps I've missed it being away, but the knives haven't exactly been out for him, have they? Much anger has been directed at practically everyone else with some level of responsibility, whether it be Leave voters themselves, Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Nigel Farage et al, and yet the man who had three aims in calling the referendum, all of which were short-term political goals meant to help him and his party rather than help the country, has barely been touched.
If anything, there's almost been a sense of aww, well at least he tried, and we're going to miss him once we're lumped with Boris, May or whichever other Tory shitpipe it is that manages to rise to the top of the greasy pole. Admittedly, there was always going to be a certain amount of such sentiment: it's true that Cameron is preferable to almost all of the above, in the same sense that it's preferable to get your finger caught in a mousetrap than have your hand cut to ribbons by a threshing machine. This said, when Cameron is given such soft soap treatment by journalists asking him if "he's wistful" while in Brussels meeting the rest of the EU leaders, or applauded for being such a class act that he can still misquote Smiths lyrics in the Commons despite having resigned, you wonder precisely what else he would have needed to do to make them change their tune. Nuked Norway perhaps? Banged an inflatable doll in Downing Street after giving his resignation statement? Insulted Beyonce?
That Cameron did very far from all he could seems to have been forgotten very quickly. Let's remember how he refused once again to go up against his opponents in straight debate, just as he did in the general election. This time the excuse was he wanted to minimise blue-on-blue attacks, only by the end he was denouncing Michael Gove for being an ignorant moron regardless. It might well have not changed anything, but if he had debated Johnson or Farage face to face, calling them on their nonsense and their claims that fell apart with minutes, it could just have persuaded a few more people to go Remain. He had nothing to lose and everything to gain by the end, so why didn't he go all out?
The answer is fairly obvious: the Tories, like the boomers who won it for Leave, have very little to lose from exiting the EU. We expected from the apparent mutual loathing on display and all the in-fighting that the Tories would find it difficult to put themselves back together, and yet it's almost as though nothing has happened. The Tory Leave supporters are delighted, while the few Remainers angered at first seem to have piped down remarkably quickly. Sure, there are those like George Osborne who have seen their own ambitions crumble into dust thanks to the vote, but no one seems much bothered or willing to engage in recriminations. Amber Rudd, after saying during the campaign she wouldn't trust Johnson to drive her home is now apparently being lined up as one of his key supporters. Rather than being asked if he regretted the Leave vote, this morning Stephen Crabb was instead questioned on if he regretted plumping for Remain. They have nothing to fear in terms of Leavers turning on them, or so they figure, not least as the difference between UKIP and the right-wingers poised to seize control of the party is imperceptibly slight. Where else are those Leave voters going to go? Labour?
Nor is there much in the way of criticism for how Cameron, while supposedly taking responsibility has also abdicated it. Asked at PMQs if he could assuage the fears of EU migrants that they are going to be asked to leave, as they are most assuredly not, he instead prevaricated and said this was yet another thing his successor will decide on. A simple no would have made it clear that regardless of what passive aggressives and racists are throwing at anyone they don't like the look of, they aren't going anywhere. Why migrants would want to stay when a majority have made it clear they are not welcome is anyone's guess, mind.
What we have found ourselves in is a total power vacuum. Cameron has effectively gone into permanent chillax mode, as why should he do the "hard shit"? Johnson or whoever it turns out to be can do it. Just how hard it is going to be has been made clear by the 27 other countries: no negotiations until Article 50 is triggered, and even then any deal involving access to the single market will mean the UK needing to accept the "four freedoms", including movement. Welcome to the worst of all worlds warned of: outside Europe with no influence and no control, those imagining the migrants would be sent back feeling betrayed and even angrier than before. The alternative? Certain economic decline, with financial services likely to leave.
And what predictably is about the only policy change being offered by Labour MPs in their otherwise completely lacking thinkpieces on where we go now? Curbs on free movement, for the people have spoken. Bit of a shame then that maybe, just maybe, a narrow remain vote might have prompted the EU into offering some sort of compromise. That's now gone, just as Cameron's renegotiation is null and void.
Clowns. Cowards. Fuckwits. About the only people who have come out of the last three days of no plan plotting well are Ed Miliband and Gordon Brown, with Brown also about the only person to have put any real thought into where the party goes from here. What boils the piss most is those whom never gave Corbyn a chance, who kept up a constant line in hostility from the beginning, the Chris Leslies, the John Woodcocks, the John Manns etc, with not a single one having the guts to put themselves forward. Absolutely nothing has been off limits in their attempts to get rid of Corbyn, whether it be accusations of racism, being a pal of terrorists, claiming he didn't even try winning a referendum on something he was always sceptical of in the first place, and all while claiming to be the real victims of this clusterfuck.
So they've finally succeeded in making his leadership untenable. And yet what's the alternative? Angela Eagle? To give her credit, she was one of the very few who really did try to make it work. She was my second choice for deputy leader, and I think she would be a far better one than Tom Watson. But actual leader? A fine performer in the Commons she may be, but can anyone seriously claim she's more likely to win a snap general election than Corbyn? Are her politics more attractive to Labour voters who went Leave than Corbyn's? Can she stick a party that has been torn asunder back together? Can she really win against Corbyn when it's clear despite the claims of the plotters that the membership does still support Jeremy?
This is what the Labour party has been reduced to. Not by Corbyn, but a bunch of selfish, beyond all reasoning with fuckwads without an ounce of sense between them and yet convinced they know best. They have barely a single answer to questions they have had months to prepare for, and yet they are certain if only they get a "sensible" leader much will be right again with the world. When you can't even plan a coup against the apparent worst Labour leader of all time, what on earth makes them think anyone will trust them with running a country? For this to be a confederacy of dunces we'd need a genius. We've got Hillary fucking Benn.
Labels: Angela Eagle, David Cameron, EU referendum, Jeremy Corbyn, Labour, politics, stupidity
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