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Friday, March 02, 2012 

The latest Pinewood blockbuster...

POOR HORSE
DIRECTED BY STEVE HILTON
STARRING
DAVID CAMERON REBEKAH BROOKS
CHARLIE BROOKS JEREMY CLARKSON
AND RAISA AS HERSELF

BASED ON THE TRUE STORY AS PLAYED OUT BY THE CHIPPING NORTON SET

Raisa, a long serving horse with the Metropolitan police, is looking forward to her retirement. To her horror, rather than being placed in a sanctuary, she finds herself loaned out to the clubbable but unstable tabloid editor Rebekah Brooks.

Humiliated by her inability to resist being ridden by Brooks, she strikes up a friendship with Jeremy Clarkson, the only person who truly understands her. Desperate to escape from the Brooks's clutches, she finds her every attempt thwarted by the arrival of the soon to be prime minister David Cameron, who is determined to cosy up to the hacking set.

Finally, Clarkson manages to distract everyone's attention by insisting that all foreign prostitutes should be strung up, enabling Richard "Hamster" Hammond, played by Hammy the Hamster in his first acting role, to spring Raisa from her locked stable. But why did the van she was taken away in have Banbury Renderers emblazoned on the side?



AN INDICTMENT OF THE POLITICAL CLASS - PETER OBORNE
RAISA IS SUPERB - JOHNNY VAUGHAN
WILL THIS DO? - SEPTICISLE

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