A fairy story (or, bludgenoning home a truism).
Once upon a time, there was a farmer called George. George was a bright man, but he had a problem. Despite all of his initiatives and plans, his farm was failing. His main problem was that he kept losing chickens to a wily fox called Ed. Ed was taking so many that George had to keep buying chickens from the local market to replace them. Since taking over the farm from a dour Scotsman named Gordon, George had insisted that he would bring down the number of chickens he bought within five years.
3 years on, and George's accountants noticed that rather than reducing the number of chickens he was buying, he was in fact purchasing more than ever. "Ah", said George, "but these new chickens I've been buying are in fact premium, leaner birds. They will lay more often, leaving enough eggs to replenish the brood at the same time as I sell more in the farm shop." This seemed such a cunning business plan that it succeeded not only in convincing the accountants, it also flummoxed Ed, who failed to snatch a single chicken from George for over a month.
Sadly for George, his devious scheme did not go as expected. His new hens did indeed lay more eggs, but not at the rate that the creditors had pencilled in. Ed also regained his confidence, and once again started snatching birds from under George's nose. All told, George's chickens laid 2,300 more eggs, 1,200 less than expected, meaning he would indeed have to keep buying more hens to replace the ones Ed was stealing.
Luckily for Albion Farm, George now has a new plan. It involves selling off other parts of the estate, starting with the stables. Findus have already expressed an interest.
3 years on, and George's accountants noticed that rather than reducing the number of chickens he was buying, he was in fact purchasing more than ever. "Ah", said George, "but these new chickens I've been buying are in fact premium, leaner birds. They will lay more often, leaving enough eggs to replenish the brood at the same time as I sell more in the farm shop." This seemed such a cunning business plan that it succeeded not only in convincing the accountants, it also flummoxed Ed, who failed to snatch a single chicken from George for over a month.
Sadly for George, his devious scheme did not go as expected. His new hens did indeed lay more eggs, but not at the rate that the creditors had pencilled in. Ed also regained his confidence, and once again started snatching birds from under George's nose. All told, George's chickens laid 2,300 more eggs, 1,200 less than expected, meaning he would indeed have to keep buying more hens to replace the ones Ed was stealing.
Luckily for Albion Farm, George now has a new plan. It involves selling off other parts of the estate, starting with the stables. Findus have already expressed an interest.
Labels: autumn statement, Conservative-Liberal Democrat coalition, economics, George Osborne, mockery, politics, spending cuts
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